


Tokyo Ghoul-Negative

by doctorearlapuss



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Child Death, Coming of Age, F/M, Human Trafficking, Loss, Loss of Innocence, Multi, Prostitution, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorearlapuss/pseuds/doctorearlapuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the year Kishou Arima was born, a boy grows up in Tokyo's 4th ward. Throughout his life, he comes to know feelings of loss, regret, and guilt. He learns what it means to trust someone, and how it feels to love. Tokyo's Ripper, feared and then forgotten, also had a childhood. At the time, information on Ghouls was not widespread. So when a series of brutal Ghoul killings occur in the 4th ward, the CCG scramble to find the cause. The boy was fond of running, but was he fast enough to outrun Tokyo?<br/>Alternate Universe set before Tokyo Ghoul: Jack and original Tokyo Ghoul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Up Late

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started typing this up about a year or so ago on ff.net. I'm slowly editing all 6 of my chapters at the moment, so it might take a while to update properly. So in the meantime I decided to start posting them here. Anyhow, please enjoy the beginning of my first and only fanfic so far ;)

Tokyo Ghoul-Negative

Chapter 1 – Up Late 

"Ahhhh. Okay, alright, this is good, I like this," the twelve year-old boy was on his hands and knees, his palms pressing against the rough ground, the toes of his worn shoes digging in just as hard. Blowing a strand of silver hair from his vision, he glanced to his left, saw three boys, looked to his right, and noted nineteen other boys all around the same age as him. Not to mention the crowd of random people gathered around to view what was about to happen, with pent up excitement written all over their faces.

"I'm going to have fun," he smiled inwardly, awkwardly even, looking down as he began to blur the sounds and shapes around him until everything was an incoherent mess of noise and colours.

"Fun," he repeated to himself, almost in a trance as he dangled over the edge of his focus. What was left of his awareness caught the sound of a sharp voice and his ears pricked up to the sound of it. Almost instinctually, he pushed his hands further into the dirt and rooted his feet in place as he raised his backside into the air.

These actions immediately shook up the butterflies in the boy's stomach, and he thought he might have had second thoughts about the situation he was in. If it weren't for his painfully useful self-encouraging words he would have stood up and left right then and there.

"I'm definitely not nervous."

Not nervous?

He suddenly let out an obnoxious snort. Scrunching up his face, he giggled uncontrollably. "Oh geez, was that a joke?" This was his warm-up. If you could even call it that.

His body was still twitching with choked laughter when the next thing his ears caught was an even sharper crack from his right that acted as a signal for him to push forward with an explosion of energy, propelling himself in front of the other boys instantly, smashing his way through the thick bubble he had wrapped himself with just moments before.

"Ah."

Suddenly his hearing was crisp and his vision was sharp. He felt the fabric of his racing attire whip against his body as he soared through the air. The crowd was already roaring, and he realised he had only just touched the ground metres in front of his opponents, his legs had pushed him so hard. He hit the ground running, straight past the first lot of spectators, right onto the considerably thinner lot around the middle where he heard a familiar voice grace his ears with his name.

"KAZUKI!"

He turned to spot his two best friends in the crowd, a girl and a boy the same age as him. The girl standing up, leaning back and cupping her hands around her mouth to scream even louder. The boy, on the other hand was standing stiff as a pole clapping with next to no enthusiasm, a little too comfortably in Kazuki's opinion.

Kazuki shifted himself mid stride to turn to his friends. He looked at the girl and locked her bloodshot eyes with an intense gaze of his own, shaking his fists violently in front of him. "MIYUKI!"

He then trained his eyes on the boy and grinned, and he could've sworn he heard his friends claps get louder as he gave the same treatment. Or maybe not claps, rather, the drumming of boys' feet growing near. "TATSUYA-Aaah crap, they're close!"

He heard a girl's shrill voice pass behind him as he turned his head to face forward. "RUN KAZUKI, GO!"

So, he ran. 

He righted his balance as quickly as his legs could move and untangle, which was considerably fast, and sprinted as hard as he could. He soon widened the gap between him and his opponents. His legs began to burn furiously, and Kazuki grinned to himself. He tore through the air like a rocket mid-way through take-off. When his feet weren't slamming into the earth as he blew through the track, he felt as light as air. As if he were flying.

When he could finally see the finish line everything slowed down. He decided to close his eyes, halfway at first and then completely. When he felt the finish line whip against his waist, Kazuki stuck a leg out to stop himself a little too abruptly and jarred his leg against the ground. He cried out an unrecognisable profanity which consisted of more than a few words, lasted until he landed face first into the dirt and made him glad that he had spluttered the vulgarity unclearly. Even more so when a fairly large circle of spectators gathered themselves around where he lay sprawled across the ground. Soon after, he heard the sound of Miyuki shouting and she slipped through the first row of people and into Kazuki's sight, Tatsuya in tow. "Kazuki." She smiled at him warmly.

He smiled back at her too, albeit rather awkwardly considering his position and the fact he hadn't seen her all day until now. "Miyuki, hello…"

…Yesterday, Kazuki and Miyuki had decided to meet at the entrance to the annual track and field carnival, along with Tatsuya. Kazuki often stayed over at Miyuki's house for dinner, and sometimes overnight due to his parent’s work. They would often have meetings with their clients over dinner and wouldn't be finished until late. 'These are extremely important meetings, Kazuki,' his father would tell him, 'please be patient with your Mother and me. I promise we will have this taken care of in no time.' He would look sympathetic, sighing a long breath when Kazuki returned an unimpressed expression. 'Just please bear with us Kazuki…'

'…And that was a year ago!' Kazuki would complain to Miyuki on one of their sleepovers. The boy showed no sense of shame or embarrassment when he shared the odd sleepless night with his close-friend-that-just-so-happened-to-be-a-girl. Miyuki, on the other hand would blush a deep red and try to shield her heavily clothed body pathetically when Kazuki would sit at the side of her futon to rant about his problems. At the time, Miyuki was wearing a fluffy looking light blue jumper and matching pants, whereas Kazuki was only wearing a simple t-shirt and shorts. It was dark, the only light being from the moon cutting through gaps in the window. It wasn't a particularly cold night either. 'A year ago!' he repeated.

She put on her best sympathetic face and raised her body to meet him at eye level, 'Well, Kazuki, maybe they're just having a few problems.' 

'Well, Miyuki,' the girl pressed her lips together and swallowed as Kazuki’s face gradually moved closer to hers, 'I kind of figured they were having problems so I asked my father.'

Smiling nervously, she raised her eyebrows. 'And?' 

'And,' he repeated, 'He said everything was fine!' He sulked.

'Kazuki,' she hesitated and her eyes wondered around the room, searching for her next sentence, 'Maybe your father has reasons for not telling you anything.' She noticed her friend was staring at her and she quickly averted her eyes in the opposite direction. She paused for a long while. 'Maybe…'

He scratched his head in annoyance, 'Ahhh, Miyuki, are you even paying attention?'

She finally met his deep, dark grey eyes, and he met her faint reddish-brown ones, 'Huh?'

'Wow, really? You're not, aren't you?' He pretended to look overly disappointed.

She gazed at him innocently, and her eyes were watering a little bit. 'I'm not, what?'

He huffed, 'Dammit, Miyuki, you've just been staring at the wall since I started talking to you.' She opened her mouth and he grabbed her by the shoulders. Not so hard to hurt her, but enough to startle the resting girl.

She chirped out a sharp 'Eep!' when he made contact with her shoulders. 'What are you doing?'

'Miyuu!' he whined.

'M-M-Miyu?'

'All my father says is "Soon" this, and "Later" that. "Maybe" this, and "Probably" that.' He clenched his teeth together in loud frustration, 'Nnnngggh! I can't take it anymore! I want an answer Yuki!'

'Y-Yuki!? A-and wait, an answer to what?' she couldn't possibly be any more confused than she was at that moment.

'An answer, Miyu! I want it! I need it! I nee-'he was interrupted halfway by a very girly squeal, courtesy of Miyuki. Kazuki followed her eyes to the now open door and found Miyuki's mother standing there with her arms crossed, visibly unimpressed. She was clearly sleeping only moments before. She was sporting a fairly crumpled white collared button-up t-shirt and pants. Kazuki let out an even girlier squeal at the sight of her. He swivelled his head around to meet Miyuki's shocked eyes. It was probably the moaning, or maybe it was him yelling "I want it, I need it" over and over ag-.

Oh.

Oops.

'Y-You see, Miss Nakahara, this isn't what it looks like' he looked over to Miyuki to gain her agreement and when she noticed him, she looked back to her mother and nodded wildly. Although when she did it, she looked better suited to a mosh pit at a heavy metal concert, as far as Kazuki and probably even Miyuki's mother was concerned.

Miss Nakahara raised an eyebrow at him. 'Oh? What does it look like, Kazuki?'

Kazuki once again reached out to Miyuki with pleading eyes, but this time she offered no assistance and instead sat next to him wide eyed and blushing, looking at nothing in particular. 'I, uh.' He fidgeted with his fingers. 'I have no idea, I think.'

'Neither do I, what you two do in here doesn't really concern me too much,' Miyuki's mother relaxed her eyebrow and questioned the boy further. 'But what does concern me is your noise level, I find it quite rude to be yelling at night in another person's house.'

Kazuki sat up straight and blurted out his next sentence, 'Rude? Do you want to know something even ruder? The fact that my father won't even explain why I never get to spend time with him and my mother!'

Miss Nakahara tilted her head slightly. 'Hm? Who was being rude?'

Kazuki quickly realised what he had said and did what any emotionally frustrated boy would do. Immediately apologise. 'Please forgive my rudeness!'

Nakahara-san's gaze softened at the boy and she even giggled a little at his position. Hunched over on his knees, pressing his forehead into her daughters futon as she sat next to him confused at the situation. 'Okay, okay, please, raise your head. You're making it awkward.' She smirked at him. 'Although it’s not as if it wasn't awkward in here already.'

He returned to his previous sitting position and waited for her to speak. He almost looked like a puppy waiting for a treat.

Miyuki's mother pulled a chair from the desk at the side of the room and sat in it comfortably. She eyed Kazuki carefully and asked him, 'Do you dislike coming here? Do you find us, say, uncomfortable to be around, by any chance?' By now Miyuki was watching him too, from the corner of her eye, preparing herself for his answer.

Kazuki was taken aback by the sudden question, but he didn’t show it. He felt the mother and daughter's stares bore into both sides of his head, urging him to speak up. 'Of course not, Miss Nakahara.' He gestured to the two of them, 'You two may even be the nicest people I've ever met.'

Both Miyuki and her mother seemed pleased by his kind answer. Miyuki blushed for the hundredth time that night and her mother looked at him sweetly.

'That's very sweet of you, Kazuki. The fact that you think that should make it easier for you to wait for your parents to sort their problems out in the meantime.'

Kazuki listened patiently, so she continued.

'You have only asked your father for an explanation I assume?'

'Yes?'

'Ah, I understand now,' she closed her eyes and nodded to herself. 'You should try asking your mother next time. Men are useless.'

Kazuki sat still and nodded slowly.

Miss Nakahara held the same expression and when she realised Kazuki was taking her seriously, she decided to let him know.

'I was joking. It was a joke.'

'Oh!' Now it was Kazuki's turn to burn red in the cheeks in embarrassment while Miyuki snickered to herself beside him. 'Sorry.'

Miss Nakahara waved her hands in front of her in apology. 'No, no, I should be sorry. I was being an idiot.' She laughed a little.

From what Kazuki had heard, Miyuki's mother had been taking care of Miyuki on her own, ever since her husband suddenly disappeared, years ago. Shortly after that, Kazuki's family and the Nakahara's became very close, and Kazuki and Miyuki became very good friends. Over the years, the two children had spent an incredible amount of time together. This time included time where Kazuki would also get to know Miyuki's mother.

At first, not long after her husband had gone missing, Miss Nakahara was understandably distressed. Or, depressed would have suited her better. She was never panicky, only internally shaken up by the events that no one bothered to explain to Kazuki, or even Miyuki, apparently. For weeks, Miss Nakahara's behaviour was nothing short of what you'd expect from a person who had recently lost a loved one. She would always look deflated, and she would never look at anyone directly. She would always look past everyone, gazing into the distance with hollow, glazed eyes. As if constantly searching for something she knew she wold never find. 

She was disinterested with what anyone was saying to her. Not that she ever actually spoke to anyone either. Anyone other than Kazuki's parents or Miyuki, that is. Miss Nakahara never went outside and she seldom spoke or even let anyone get close to Miyuki, so it was a while until Kazuki had the chance to befriend her.

But eventually, the surprisingly less shaken up Miyuki brought her mother back up into a reasonable state. In no time, Kazuki warmed up to her nicely. Miss Nakahara was a very pleasant person, whose little jokes were well received and personality was bright enough to lighten any room or warm any heart. She seemed the responsible type, but if you got to know her better, you would realise that she can be rather playful for a thirty-two year old mother.

'No, but really,' Miss Nakahara now looked at Kazuki seriously. 'There are just some things that kids as young as you just can't be told. You probably wouldn't understand any of it if you were told anyway. No offence.' She added.

'No offence to you as well Miss Nakahara, but for your information, I will be a very impressive twelve years old tomorrow,' he said smugly.

She seemed to cringe slightly. 'Oh, yes. That's good for you Kazuki, but I'm being serious here.'

Kazuki huffed. 'So Miss Nakahara, do you understand them, my parents? Do you know what kind of problems they're having?

A blanket of heavy silence enveloped the room and settled for a moment before the woman spoke again.

'I might.'

Kazuki's eyes shone. 'Really! Oh, tell me Miss Nakahara. Please?' he begged.

She sighed. 'Listen Kazuki, this isn't about what I know. It's about how you're going to deal with not knowing. See, in this world there are things that are just not worth knowing. There are things in my life that I wish I hadn't seen, things I wish I didn't have to go through. But, I saw them anyway. And now I have to live with it, that weight on my shoulders, the memories that I have to keep to myself. For the people I love, for their sake they can't know because if they did, they would have to carry the burden too, and bear the temptation of reaching out to others for help and weighing them down as well.'

Kazuki sat, in shock at the now completely emotionally exposed Miss Nakahara. He didn't dare take his eyes from her, but Miyuki must have been shocked too. From the corner of his eye, Kazuki could make out the outline of her body facing her mother, unmoving like he was. They had watched the usually composed woman descend from a friendly and mischievous attitude, to a teary, wavering mess. In under a minute, the air in the room became so thick that he found it hard to breathe, and struggled with the simple task as Miyuki's mother went on, despite the state she was in.

She was looking at her hands now. 'It's hard, you know? Not telling, holding back. It's harder than you think. Even now, I want to tell you, about that night.' She swallowed. Her voice was shaking, and so was she. But nevertheless, she continued. 'Your parents are amazing, Kazuki. To be able to bear years' worth of painful experience and not buckle under the pressure. Amazing, unlike me.'

This was where Miyuki spoke for the first time in a while, and she even startled Kazuki with her sudden voice. 'Mother! You know that isn't true.' He looked at her, and there were unshed tears in her eyes. These tears made him feel uncomfortable to the point where he felt the need to say something. But even he knew this wasn’t something he could just butt into. 

He didn’t have the right.

'What you don't understand is, Kazuki, it takes a lot to hold yourself back for someone else's sake. Remember that next time you speak to your parents, and they disappoint you, or change the subject, or make a pathetic excuse. Remember that they do it for you.' She wiped her eyes, and the two children did as well. Miss Nakahara stood from her chair weakly and slowly walked to the door. 'That's all I have to say to you Kazuki. I'm sorry I ruined your night.'

When she closed the door quietly, Kazuki could hear her feet drag across the floor down the hallway, to her room, were the door clicked shut before he replied meekly, 'No. Thank you, Miss Nakahara.'

The two friends sat in awkward silence for a while until Miyuki spoke up. 'Tomorrow is the second last day of summer vacation.'

'Yeah, my birthday, too. August nineteenth.' He said flatly.

'Also, I hear you were invited to a race that involves every ward in Tokyo, and they're holding it here in the fourth ward on a track nearby. Are you aware of this?' she asked.

'Yeah, they asked me to come and run, to "represent the youth of the fourth ward" or something.' He replied, uninterested.

The conversation was slow and after every reply, there would be a period where they would drift off in their own thoughts. As if each question was from a test, and their answer determined the direction of their future.

Ah, yes.

The word boring would suit this moment perfectly. Save for the show stopper Miyuki's mother had performed. Maybe the two knew that whatever they said, or whatever they did, the conversation would never reach the point it did when Miss Nakahara was speaking. The least they could do was speak about the future. Tomorrow, however boring it may be.

'Kazuki, you know you can ask me to come and watch if you're feeling lonely about it. I'll even bring Tatsuya.' She asked quietly.

'It's not like I wanted to go. I was thinking of not going, myself.' He stated matter-of-factly.

'Well, are you going or not? I need to know so I can call Tatsuya and we can both turn up.' Miyuki was starting to sound a little annoyed.

Kazuki sat in thought. Not unlike what they both did not too long ago. But this time, he made an effort to look like he was trying to make his mind up. 'I probably should go. It's not like I had anything else planned, and it sounded like they need me. So I guess you can come. If you want to.'

She sighed. 'Idiot, if I didn't want to go, I never would have asked you in the first place.' 

'Okay, so if you think about it, the race is, well, a race. It’ll be pretty quick. How does ice cream on the way home sound?' he suggested.

'Sounds fun.' He looked at her and once again for the first time in a while, she smiled at him. That same warm smile he had seen over and over for years, and it got him every time. His breath caught in his throat and he spluttered a little.

'Are you alright?' Miyuki leaned over to him, looking concerned.

He turned his back to her, blushing. Thinking he was an idiot to be acting like this. 'I'm fine,' he said quietly, 'Good night, Miyuki.'

She was still smiling. 'Good night, Kazuki.'

By then she rested slumped over him slightly, and they stayed like that for a while, resting. Soon she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Brushing a tuft of sunset orange hair behind her ear, he followed suit, and when their bodies went limp, they fell further into each other.

They stayed like that through the night unmoving, together…

…She was watching him.

That girl with eyes blue as a cloudless sky, and just as endless. The girl with light blue hair cropped just above her relaxed brow, falling to the nape of her neck, but trimmed neatly. An elitist, he thought.

She definitely looked the part.

She was wearing a purple pleated skirt that reached below her knees and a black blazer over a smart-looking dress shirt. She had just stepped from the wall she was leaning on when he opened the door to his house, back from school. She doesn't own a school uniform, apparently. School had just ended.

Wide eyed he looked at her, and she held his gaze strongly, half-lidded though, from a higher angle. She was a hand's length taller than him. A year or two older.

He felt his arm rise and wave at her, slow, as if he was being forced to do so. Her lips parted, time stopped.

Then, a stern voice. 'Don't speak to it.'

'Sorry.'

Tall figures passed and brushed him away from the door. A man, a woman, a couple of teenagers; all sharply dressed. Their stares chilled him to the core, froze him on the spot, cold enough for him to shudder and awaken.

I'm sorry.

'Are you going to run again?'

I have to. Don't I? I have to…

…Kazuki eyed the still room sleepily. Spears of the rising sun's light pierced the darkness through the curtains. He could see shining specks of dust floating in the light and he followed one all the way to the peak of his nose, where he blew on it softly. It spiralled and twisted out of control until he could no longer spot it amongst the others.

Miyuki began to stir and she tightened herself around his waist. His eyes flew open and heat rose to his cheeks. Silently and slowly, as to not wake her, he pried her hands away from his torso and stood up. He rubbed the sleep from his heavy eyelids and yawned quietly, covering his mouth.

"I'll see you soon Miyuki." he breathed as he slipped out of the room, and she smiled…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate you guys reading this. I plan to finish this someday and I'm sure it's going to be a pretty long piece of writing. Ambitious for an amateur but oh well. The speed at which I post the next chapters depends on how long it'll take me to edit the chapters I already have hahaha


	2. Cool Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuki's time after the race.

Tokyo Ghoul-Negative 

Chapter 2 – Cool Down

"Miyuki! You are my saviour, I love you so much. You're amazing." Kazuki was lying on his back, unruly silver hair partially covering his eyes. Arms and legs spread in a mess under the shade of a tree, while Miyuki poured cold water over his face and chest.

"Says you, Kazuki. They don't call you 'The Ripper' for nothing. You literally tore up the track! You're the amazing one here! I can’t believe how fast you were!" She stood holding the almost empty bottle over Kazuki's body, watching him in awe. He was the boy who could run faster than anyone.

Kazuki tiredly opened an eye to observe Miyuki, whose orange hair was brilliantly whipping about in the summer air. He smirked. "Oh, my dear Miyuki, you're too kind. But, quick question. Who the hell came up with 'The Ripper?' It sounds horrible. "

Tatsuya was standing to the side of Miyuki, leaning against the tree watching the two. He scowled at the way the two spoke and decided to join in. "Honestly though, Kazuki. How do you do it? How is it possible to run so fast? You're insane."

Kazuki had his eyes shut again when he spoke, "Huh? Who knows? I think running helps with everything. It’s great."

Tatsuya stared at the lazing boy. "How so? To run from problems too?"

"No." Tatsuya could suddenly feel himself being glared at from under Kazuki's eyelids. There was an edge to his voice when he spoke. "Well, yes, if you're fast enough. A win is a win, right?" Kazuki smiled. "But not always running away. Running to things is good too. Kind of like a, 'Get them before they get you' sort of thing. Anywhere you want, really. Anything you want is yours, the catch is you gotta get there fast enough."

"Is that so?"

"That sounded cool right?" Kazuki faced Miyuki, who nodded. "Oh, and yeah, Tatsuya." He opened his eyes suddenly and stood up, startling Miyuki, who fumbled with the bottle. "Speaking of insane, the awards ceremony thing is soon and I probably have to be there. They're making us all sit out in the sun. Crazy, Right?"

Miyuki clapped to get Kazuki's attention. "Ice-cream." She said slowly, letting the words roll off her tongue smoothly.

Kazuki's head rose to the sky, exposing his neck, which twitched when he swallowed. "Ah, yes. Dear Miyuki, yes. It's all coming back to me now." His head snapped down, grey eyes wide and grinning like fool. "Come. We must fulfil our destinies."

Miyuki giggled.

Tatsuya watched Kazuki walk away proudly into the distance with dark, contemptuous eyes, his hard gaze interrupted by Miyuki skipping after the sprinter. He could see many people gathering in flocks in the direction Kazuki was marching towards, and Tatsuya decided he should go too. He speed walked rather begrudgingly towards his two companions, trailing behind.

It was hot. Oh, was it hot.

The three friends sat next to each other in the grass, the two boys sitting on either side of Miyuki. Slowly roasting to death amongst the other spectators and participants of the activities alike. All cooking in the heat, while the announcer droned on like a robot. Taking his merry time, standing under the shade of his little makeshift shelter with some important looking officials sitting behind him.

Tatsuya sat stiffly in the blazing heat, peering from under his furrowed brow, watching the announcer intensely. He hated waiting. Especially for Kazuki. But, she would wait for him. And in turn, he would wait for her. Suffering here though, irritated him to no end, but he had no ability to speak. So he didn't, and instead cast his eyes forward and waited.

Miyuki sat to the left of Tatsuya with her head down, bright orange strands of hair hanging down slick with her sweat. The announcer abruptly stopped and coughed violently. She looked up, hoping he would dramatically collapse and end her misery. Instead he reached over for a glass of water and sipped it casually. She looked back down disappointedly. "Damn."

Kazuki chuckled at Miyuki's little remark. He could never understand Tatsuya, but he was mysterious by nature. Miyuki though, she was very different. He found her very interesting. From the way he spoke, the way she acted, to her personality in general. Whenever they were by themselves, she would always be a little over conservative and a bit shy, absent-minded. With others however, she would act so enthusiastic and at times a bit air-headed. She would cling to him. Not annoying maybe, overwhelming at times. 

When on her own, she was the most fascinating. The Miyuki he and everyone else saw was nowhere to be found. In her place was someone else. There was often something ‘off’ about her. Something that set off a sense of uneasiness within him. Deep in her thoughts, the air around her was unnaturally still. Cold enough for him to shiver, even in this heat. It was possible she was just mulling over something that was bothering her, or maybe she was just tired.

Definitely tired, he thought to himself as he watched her side-on. Her face was shadowed over by her shoulder length hair, almost as wet as the rest of her. Which was a very pretty colour, mind you. A slight contrast to her less intense brownish eyes that just so happened to be aimed right at him.

Kazuki stiffened under her hard gaze. "Uh, well, you see…" He heard the announcer begin to speak about the twelve year olds’ race, his monotonous voice carrying itself through the heavy summer air. He shot up and began making his way up to the front. "Oh! That's me. See you when I get back!"

She made a grunting noise and Kazuki got to hopping over and around the crowd of sitting people. He listened to the announcer. "Second place. Kurosawa Shun, First ward" There was already a boy with a medal standing on stage, and Kurosawa was already receiving his.

"…And finally, First place. The champion, who even topped the times of boys years older than himself…" Kazuki caught this and threw a cheeky wink to the older boys he was passing, who collectively scowled as he leaped over their hunched figures. "…For the third time in a row, our very own champion of the fourth ward, 'The Ripper', Kazuki-"

"Hello, I'm already here. Is that for me? Thank you." He bowed while receiving his small trophy. "And please don't call me 'The Ripper'. It sounds stupid…" He laughed awkwardly as he spun around and walked over to the other two boys, who all had their photos taken promptly.

'Mr Third place' didn't look too lively, so he was left alone. However, Kurosawa felt up for a conversation. "Three years in a row, huh? It's inhuman, your speed… 'The Ripper'."

"Like I said, don't call me that, Kurosawa. It's annoying"

"Aw, don't be so cold. I thought we were friends!" He wept overdramatically.

Kurosawa Shun, the fastest twelve year old boy in the first ward. Second fastest in Tokyo. He was the type of person you would call an all-rounder, good at everything. During his schooling years so far, he had chosen to try out a variety of clubs to gain 'experience'. Much like Kazuki, he was indecisive with his choosing of a certain activity or club. They both settled on running and have been competitive ever since. Even though Kazuki has come much further than Kurosawa, he still keeps Kazuki company every once in a while at events like these.

Kazuki gave him a look. "We are friends. You're just annoying."

"Ah, I see. So what do I call you then?" He leaned over for an answer, an eyebrow raised, purposely shifting into the sun so it would shine into his dark hair for added effect.

"Kazuki is fine."

"Okay then, from now on, call me Shun. Kazuki."

"No. I'm tired, and I want my ice cream." Kazuki yawned

"Tired, huh? Have you joined anything new lately?" Kurosawa questioned him curiously.

"No." Kazuki looked at Kurosawa as if he had said something horrible. He began speaking like he had tasted something awful. "The school makes me run every afternoon. It's killing me, I have no time for anything."

"Like what? Hanging out with your entourage of friends and acquaintances?" The sprinter jeered as a shit eating grin spread across his pretty little face.

"Oh, shut it, Mr Popular. Where are all of your fans now?" Kazuki reached over and smacked the other boy jokingly on the side of his head.

"Hey, careful! My hair!" he swivelled on the spot and carefully prodded his wavy ebony hair back into place. "And what was it? Where are my fans? Oh, well you're here aren't you? They must be somewhere more exciting." He quipped.

"It's me, is it? Are you sure it's not because you've been second place for a good three years in a row?" He shot back, a small smile creeping into his resolute features.

"Hmm, yes…" Kurosawa tapped his chin thoughtfully. Finally he shook his head. "I'm still pretty sure it's you."

Kazuki was growing impatient with the other boy so he decided to end their chat like the paragon of virtue he was. He fixed Kurosawa with a hard glare and said, "Screw you."

Kurosawa watched Kazuki's retreating figure with another small grin. "It's you Kazuki! It'll always be you!"

"Go to hell!"

Kazuki left the boy on his own. Tossing his first place trophy from one hand to the other, he whistled a melody he had once heard before. A soft tune that tended to sweep him over with a wave of nostalgia that confused him as much as it made him happy. Miyuki and Tatsuya soon came into view as he walked over to the entrance to the field where they were waiting patiently.

When she heard him coming, Miyuki smiled. She loved it when he whistled that tune. She was more than half the reason why he did it. Tatsuya looked indifferent as usual. When he reached them, he looked to the cloudless blue sky, into the sun and spoke to them. "The ice cream. It calls to me."

Miyuki was the first to respond. "W-what does it say?"

"It whispers to me. ’Lick me,' it says."

"Wow!"

Tatsuya just watched the two in pure disbelief. "It what?"

The boy and girl looked at him, puzzled. "What's wrong Tatsuya?"

His eye twitched.

Sometimes he would wonder if they were even the same age as him, judging by the way they behaved. Kazuki and his immature, childish remarks. Miyuki with her blind following and praise for the boy. What was so good about that idiot anyway? He never tries, but even so, his achievements say otherwise. Living so carefree in his own world full of ignorance. It wouldn't be surprising if he died tomorrow.

And Miyuki would be right behind him.

'Perhaps it wouldn't be too surprising if he survived, somehow. Though, Miyuki is another story. She needs to be protected. She's fragile, even in our world. She’ll be finished as soon as he takes responsibility over her. He sees himself as a winner amongst losers. A win is a win, right? That's what she thinks too, right? Infecting her with his damn ideas, choosing him over me. Even when her father died, she never came to me. She never spoke in months, but she stayed with him, despite everything. The others aren't even worth acknowledging, right? A shadow like me, isn't worth acknowledging. Right?'

"But, I do acknowledge him."

Tatsuya raised his head to find Kazuki and Miyuki speaking, presumably about him. 

"Not enough, maybe. Sometimes he says things and you don't even answer him. Nicely, anyway." Miyuki argued.

"It's funny though, spinning the conversation on its butt suddenly, don't you think?” he said, chuckling to himself. “Still, ignoring us for so long…" He stole a glance over to where Tatsuya was watching them talk about him.

Bewildered, he squinted his eyes at his two friends. "What are you-" he began, but was suddenly interrupted by Kazuki.

"So you are alive!" he exclaimed in shock. "Miyuki! He's alive!"

Miyuki looked at Tatsuya too, and smiled. "Welcome back, Tatsuya."

He blushed at her remark. "I-I'm ba-"

"Ice cream!" Kazuki yelled suddenly.

"What? What the heck was that?" Miyuki said through giggles.

"See? It is funny." Kazuki said proudly.

"You didn't really change the subject enough. We were going to get ice cream anyway." The young girl stated.

"Okay, fair enough. Let's go then, it's starting to get late. That means you too, Tatsuya. Don't just stand there with your head down, or we'll leave you behind." Kazuki and Miyuki were both looking at him over their shoulders.

They were already far ahead of him when Miyuki gestured him over to them. "Come on!"

Dumbfounded, his legs began moving towards them, and before he knew it he was between both Miyuki and Kazuki. Miyuki holding the trophy, quietly watching the path in front of them. Kazuki smirking, head slightly cocked to the side, his right arm folded in the dip of his lower back. Tatsuya walking steadily in the middle, feeling strangely content between these two. Chin up, rubbing his nose. 

Hiding a smile…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an amateur I actually appreciate you reading up to this point.  
> So, thank you hahaha


	3. Way Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally something reasonably interesting happens as the three children part ways after a long day of character development...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if anyone is really enjoying this at the moment haha. But a quick comment on what you think about the story so far would be nice :)  
> Regardless of if you do comment or not, thank you for reading up to this point!

Tokyo Ghoul-Negative 

Chapter 3 – Way Home

"Wait a second. Why am I the only one with an ice cream?"

Kazuki stood confused, looking at his two friends. More specifically their hands, which were suffering from a serious lack of ice cream. Instead they were moving restlessly, tugging at their clothing or tapping at the wooden bench they were seated in, focused on their surroundings.

They had wondered over to the nearest convenience store to buy the ice cream. The store just happened to be near a small park where no children were playing, so the trio decided to hang around there for a while. It was just past five in the afternoon and the sun was setting beautifully over the cityscape. Streaks of intense red, yellow and brilliant orange lay up high, strewn across the horizon. The sun’s dying rays piercing through the buildings as the ball of fire lowered itself slowly behind the seated children. Shining into Kazuki's face, painting him with the colours of sunset.

Tatsuya sat tiredly on the bench in his yellow polo shirt. Short, spiky red hair moving ever so slightly in the wind. His head propped up on his palm, elbow resting on the back of the bench. He was staring intensely in the direction they had come from. Miyuki sat next to him, and in contrast was rather restless. She tugged at her shoulder length ginger hair, and picked at her short blue skirt and faded blue dress shirt nervously.

"Aaah… We don't really feel like anything"

"C'mon guys. Miyuki, you even payed for this." He held out the vanilla ice cream for Miyuki to look at. He hoped the gesture would be enough to hunger his friends. A single drop of the cold vanilla slid from the cone and dropped to the ground.

Miyuki was watching his attempt to entice her when she saw an opening. She threw herself at the opportunity. "You know it wasn't really my money, it was my mothers." Her face lit up with a brightness that rivalled the sun sinking behind her.

Kazuki looked at her oddly. "Was it?"

She sat up straight, "You see Kazuki, Mother came to meet us while you were receiving your trophy and gave me the money. Oh, and you know what she told me? You'll love this..." Miyuki was smiling now. It was a smile that could cure any illness and yet stop the hearts of thousands.

Kazuki choked on nothing. "What did she tell you?" he said, almost a whisper.

She leapt from her seat enthusiastically. "She said she talked to your parents. And they're gonna have a birthday dinner with you or something. I almost forgot to tell you." She peered over at Tatsuya. "Isn't that exciting? Kazuki's parents might even be finished with their work. Isn't that great?"

Tatsuya turned to her with an eyebrow raised and sighed at her poor attempt to sound like she was happy. He knew that she enjoyed Kazuki's company more than anything. He knew that it pained her to admit that one day she wouldn't be able to see him every night. She wouldn't be able to have normal conversations with him. Where she would listen to him, and he would listen to her. Where they would stay awake all night, far from dreams, and when they slept, they would be together. On the rare nights when Kazuki would be in his own house, Miyuki would be alone, keeping herself awake with the thought that he would be with her again, tomorrow.

Now though, if Kazuki weren't constantly keeping her company, she really would be alone. It scared her.

Miyuki's mood dipped low as she realised the lie she had just told herself.

Tatsuya stood up rigidly and finally spoke. "Miyuki, I'll meet you at the path we take to go home. I'm kinda tired, you guys can talk for a while longer." He looked at Kazuki with a flat smile. "Bye, Kazuki."

Kazuki looked at him oddly too. "Oh, ah, yeah. Bye."

When Tatsuya was out of earshot, he turned to Miyuki. "He just smiled at me. Did you see that?"

Her jaw tightened. "Weird, huh…"

"Almost as weird as you not having a taste of this delicious ice cream." He quipped.

"Is it now?"

He appreciated how pretty she looked in the sunset now that Tatsuya had left. That was, until a crooked grin crawled onto his face and wiped the soft smile from it completely.

Kazuki bit his tongue nervously. "Beautiful sunset, isn't it?"

"Yeah." She spoke wistfully.

"Almost makes you wanna have some ice cream." He said slowly, watching his friend's unchanging expression, gauging her upcoming reaction with bottled anticipation.

She turned to him cautiously. "Look Kazuki, I'm sorry but I don't really like-.” She started, but was cut off by a ball of frozen vanilla being forced between her lips.

Her breath immediately hitched at the back of her throat and she choked out a horrible guttural splutter. Her eyes were the widest Kazuki had ever seen them and the expression on her face was unrecognisable. It was twisted into a savage scowl as she made a mess of the ice cream, desperately slapping it out of his hands before bringing her fist back and slamming it into Kazuki with the force of a brick. He was sent flying back into the sand, heaving as he struggled to find air. He was clawing at his chest, she was clawing at her mouth. Miyuki was on her knees coughing violently, at the brink of tears, saliva was dripping in strings from her mouth.

Kazuki sat in the mess of sand wheezing erratically. He found it hard to believe that what hit him wasn't the boot of a grown man, but Miyuki's soft hand that he knew like the back of his own. He was shocked into silence, save for his deep breaths and the blood rushing through his head.

"I-I'm…" He whimpered through heavy gasps.

She replied to him with the back of her head. "Why?"

He was up on his feet now, scrambling for an apology, an excuse. He pulled one out of the air and made it genuine. "I'm so sorry Miyuki, I had no idea. I never thought vanilla tasted so bad."

"Had no idea…" She murmured in a dangerous tone, eyes twitching wildly as she turned to look at him. She held her forehead. "How can you be so, fucking childish." she spat, and Kazuki flinched. “Not everything is a game, you know that? Not everything is sunshine and fucking rainbows Kazuki!”

He reeled back, breathless. He felt like he'd been impaled though the heart, and just like that she had taken hold of him by her gaze alone. He was sure that if in that moment Miyuki had chosen to kill him for what he had done, he would have let her. So intense was his fear.

His voice was dripping with guilt, and an urgency to return his friend back to normal. "L-look Miyuki, I just thought I might surprise you. C-cause, y'know, I get to eat with my parents tonight, and, I thought we could at least share the ice cream…"

Miyuki wore an expression that Kazuki could never dream of deciphering. In her mind, she knew better. He really did have no idea. She thought she was ready for situations like this. Situations where she was the only one who understood anything. She thought she was different, especially around Kazuki. But to react like she did, she was just like everyone else she ever knew and despised. 

She was made to drive people away. To be alone.

She laughed to herself suddenly, thinking of the amusing things Kazuki had said and done over the years. As well as how close they were, despite everything. She remembered the times she’d met his gaze, a pleasant softness to ease the clutter and distraction that constantly plagued her mind. How he managed to look so innocent and calm looking at a monster in thought was beyond her. 

Kazuki was beyond her.

He was watching, confused, and almost scared. "Are you okay?"

She swallowed, now light headed, and made an attempt at a smile. "I'm perfectly fine. Are you okay?"

Her smile melted his heart, and he had no idea what was going on; with her, or with him. One thing was clear to him though. "What do you mean you're fine? You’re not fine at all…"

She kept her features steady. "But I am.” She stiffly patted down her skirt and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m fine, Kazuki. I'm over it now. You should just get over it."

Just get over it? He was shocked at how quickly she just brushed this issue aside. He had never seen her so mad before, and he had certainly never heard her sound so hostile, let alone hit someone. And all of it was directed at him. “Dammit Miyuki no one is fine right now!”

“Enough, Kazuki! It’s over now, okay? I’m fine.”

As unconvinced as he was, he still didn’t want to push her even further. "A-are you sure?" 

"Yes, yes! Look, I'll walk you halfway to your house." She began tugging on his arm in the direction of his home. "C'mon, before Tatsuya gets impatient!"

"Alright!" He relented, and reluctantly he began walking down the path with her towards his house.

He decided he would speak about what had just happened another time, but still not knowing what had bothered her to such an extent, he worried about her. Immersing himself in his thoughts, his mind eventually drifted to his thoughts of finally spending time with his parents. When he would reach the door of his home, he would open it and announce to everyone inside that he was home at last, apologising for being late.

Inside, he would see…

That girl with eyes blue as a cloudless sky, and just as endless. The girl with light blue hair cropped just above her relaxed brow, falling to the nape of her neck, but trimmed neatly. An elitist, he would think.

That girl. Would she be there again?

"Are you thinking about her again?"

The noise jerked him from his imagination and back into reality before he could even recognise the situation. "Her? Who's her?" He tried to laugh sincerely and failed miserably.

"You know who. That girl you saw at your house." She said, not believing his ignorance.

"H-how did you know about her?" He questioned, breaking into a cold sweat.

"You told me about her, dummy." She sighed.

"Oh, yeah. I remember."

"Well, forget." She said bluntly. "Try not to worry about it."

Try not to worry about it? Now things were starting to get a bit too weird. 

“Don’t you think I’ve got a bit too much not to worry about at the moment?” He laughed anxiously. 

She shot him a look that told him to drop whatever he was getting to, so he decided not to press on. 

They walked on for a little longer before Kazuki spoke up again. "Um, I can walk the rest of the way. It's getting kind of late." He glanced over his shoulder. “My house is right there anyway.” Feeling like a train wreck, he rubbed the back of his head to ease his shaking hands.

"Yeah I should head back." She replied, still unreadable.

"About earlier…"

"I said I was okay!"

"But…"

She threw up her arms. "Look, I was going to give you your birthday present the next time you came over. But, if I give it to you now, will you stop trying to bring this up?"

He stood stunned for a moment, considered, and then nodded his head in agreement.

Miyuki walked up to him until their bodies were almost touching, and said, "Close your eyes."

His body stiffened. "Wait, what?"

“Just do it!” she pleaded.

He took in the sight of her face so close to his. Her slightly pouted lips, big brown eyes, hair like the sunset. She’s beautiful, he thought to himself. He loved her when she slept beside him at night and when she greeted him in the morning. He loved her smiling at him across the dinner table, kicking him under it when he made a stupid face. Now she’s knocked him on clean his ass, and he loved that too. No matter what she did, he loved her. 

“What are you going to do?” he asked, head spinning.

“You’ll find out, just shut those eyes of yours! Don’t you trust me?”

He was confident he loved her enough that he could even do it with his eyes closed, but he hesitated. Maybe he was afraid of closing his eyes in fear of losing sight of her. Would she just walk away? 

No.

Miyuki would never walk away. She wouldn’t run from this. She wasn’t like him, and because of that he trusted her.

Kazuki closed his eyes, watching her slowly fade from his vision.

She grabbed his arms and kissed him on the lips. It was a kiss, alright. Short and sweet. The most pure and innocent form of intimacy you could find. When she parted with him, she lingered close before moving away completely, a moment that felt like forever. Cheeks flared red, tears in her eyes. The sight of her almost made him cry, but instead he stood stock still. Unable to process the raw emotion that held him in place and kept his heart beating harder than ever before.

“Why?”

Her fingers where still barely touching his arms where she held him. “You just looked so sad, Kazuki.” She looked off into the distance somewhere behind him. “And besides, who knows if we’ll ever get the chance to be together like this again.”

Not knowing what to say to the unusually cryptic Miyuki, he tried his best to hold a decent smile without twitching his face too much.

She narrowed her eyes. "And please do not attempt to apologise to me again." She asked, red still present in her features.

"So is this what I get for pissing you off, Miyuki?” He said jokingly, laughing nervously. “You know, this kindness will be the death of you." 

She smiled somewhat knowingly and began walking, before turning to him. "And your stupidity will be the death of you, Kazuki."

He forced out another laugh. “We’ll see.”

“I hope not.”

He saw her off, standing outside of his house awkwardly. He wore an uneasy expression as he watched her take stiff, hesitant steps away from him. He silently hoped she would turn around and run back into his arms. But she didn't, and instead he stood waiting for her to be a suitable distance away before he let out a long sigh, turning to the entrance of his house.

He looked at the old structure he barely spent time in anymore. Most of his clothes were at Miyuki's place now, since he spent so much time there instead. Now that he had thought about it, Kazuki began to think about how he would feel going back to his friend's house to sleep again.

They were still friends, right? The poor boy couldn’t see two of them in any other way. To him, Miyuki was his friend since the day he first spoke to her. But now that he well and truly knew he loved her, he needed to take responsibility for both of their feelings. Whatever they may be. But later.

Now was this house. The home that presently houses his parents. One of the lucky few buildings that have not yet been consumed by the ever rapidly growing fourth ward. Shinjuku.

His house wasn't too large, or too small. It was a pretty average house. There was nothing special about it. It was just the house he used to live in. Two storeys high and a semi-traditional Japanese home, it was perfect for the average family. Not so far away from the shops and streets that his parents couldn't go to restaurant meetings, but not so close that they could be disturbed by the noise of the bustling nightlife.

Kazuki took slow steps towards the house and stopped right at the entrance. He was uncharacteristically uneasy. For the first time in what felt like forever, he would open the door to his home and cheerfully call out 'I'm home!’ He’d hug his mother and father and have dinner with them. A lovely birthday feast.

Perfect, he thought.

Maybe there would there be guests? The Nakaharas? Tatsuya? Business associates?

He chuckled meekly. A big day for questions, huh?

A thought crossed his mind. A simple recurring memory that he just couldn’t shake. 

That girl.

Inside, he would see…

No! 

His mind protested. “We are not doing this now, Kazuki!”

He reached for the doorhandle and gripped it. "I'm not nervous. Definitely not nervous. This is fun, this will be fun. That girl, whoever she is, will absolutely not turn up behind this door and be listening to what I'm saying right now!"

Shutting his mouth tight with resolve, he took a deep breath.

For some reason when he turned the handle and opened the door, he expected it to be cold.

But of course it wasn't. It was warm. And he smiled equally as warmly at that fact.

This was his home.


End file.
